


Domestic BS

by runawaycartoonist



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Latino Rick, M/M, Proposals, Smut, Trans Character, Trans Rick, sorta - Freeform, stan gets a manicure, stanchez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runawaycartoonist/pseuds/runawaycartoonist
Summary: Stan and Rick are raising Beth as best they can.Beth paints Stan's fingernails, Rick overthinks a lot of things and is bad at romance, Stan loves his bf very much. Everything works out and nothing hurts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So... this is an apology for what's going down in Car Thief right now. Please accept this peace offering, especially bc the upcoming chapter is gonna be a LOT of Fidds!whump. 
> 
> To be clear this is NOT a part of the CT universe! This is a separate universe, which we'll call T-78ΩQ, where they actually fucking communicate their problems and Ford isn't such a dipshit. He and Fidds are on their honeymoon atm.

As usual, Stanley managed to amaze Rick. This time, instead of amazing him with his fists, his ability to embrace weirdness and adventure, his sexual stamina, his mind or his heart… he was amazing him with his skills regarding small children. He had a  _ gift. _

Stan sat on the floor and helped five-year-old Beth choose what nail polish she wanted on her fingers. She had a choice between pink, red, and green.

“Which one, Lee?” she asked, holding the tiny bottles.

“Well, I guess that depends,” he said, scratching the stubble on his jaw. His brow was furrowed, as if he was deeply pondering the question of nail polish. “Pink is a good colour for princesses, red is a good one for spies, and green is a good one for mermaids. But hey, it’s up to you, Sweet Pea.”

“Ooh! I wanna be a mermaid!” She picked the green bottle and held it out to Stan. “Can you paint my nails, Lee?”

Rick leaned against the doorframe to the living room, hands jammed into his pockets. He watched quietly while Stan carefully painted Beth’s fingernails, the tiny brush looking comical in his massive hands.

Beth wiggled her fingers and giggled when Stan was done. “Imma  _ mermaid! _ ”

“Yes you are, Sweetie,” he said with a wide grin.

“Lee, do  _ you  _ wanna be a mermaid?”

“Hmm,” he said thoughtfully. “Truthfully, I’ve never considered it. I think it would be kinda fun, ‘specially since I’d get to be a mermaid with my favourite lil’ bean!” He ruffled her hair and she giggled.

The nail polish was quickdry. Beth examined her nails carefully before deciding she could use her hands. “Lee, can I paint your nails?”

“Of course you can, Pumpkin.” He held out his hand. Her tiny hands could barely wrap around one of his fingers as she began to paint his nails, her tongue held between her teeth.

Rick chuckled and retreated into the tiny kitchen in their apartment. If you’d said to him five years ago that he’d be  _ this  _ happy with something  _ this  _ domestic, he would’a told whoever told them that to stuff a sock in it. Who the hell knew that  _ Rick Fucking Sanchez,  _ mad scientist extraordinaire, crazy inventor, discoverer and destroyer of planets, would be in the kitchen with his boyfriend and daughter painting nails in the next room?

But, as he made peanut-butter-jelly sandwiches and poured pretzels into a bowl, he begrudgingly realized that he was happy. He had a loving boyfriend, a cute kid, and a portal gun that could take ‘em on a million adventures.

He felt… undeserving.

He sighed and put on a bright smile as he entered the living room. Stan was wiggling his freshly-painted fingers.

“Check it, Rick.” He showed off his fingernails, posing his hand like a dainty diva. “My hands are better than your hands.”

Beth giggled and put the nail polish in her tiny makeup bag.

“W-well  _ duh. _ ” Rick plopped down on the overstuffed sofa and dropped the sandwiches and pretzels on the table. “ _ Obviously _ . Beth, sweetie, wanna pick a tape to watch?”

“Ooh! Okay!” She jumped up, bounced over to the cabinet, and threw it open hard enough to yank on the hinges. “This one!” She pulled out Cinderella.

Rick let out a heavy breath through his nose and Stan held back a sigh. It had been the  _ eighth  _ time that she’d picked that movie.

Beth popped the tape into the player, then crawled up onto the couch to cuddle between her two dads.

Stan fell asleep within the first ten minutes of the movie, Beth pressed snugly up against his side, Rick’s icy feet jammed under his thigh.

Rick propped his head up with his hand as he thanked his lucky stars and counted his blessings for what was before him. He hated that he really  _ really  _ wanted a drink, but he promised Stanley that he’d quit. He promised him that after he drunkenly smashed a few plates and made Beth cry.

He didn’t go cold turkey. He went little by little, went from a bottle of whisky a day, to a glass, to a mouthful, and for the last three days he’d had nothing. It was… weird. When he looked in the mirror, his eyes were so  _ sharp.  _ It was incredible.

Stan snored. Beth giggled at the singing mice.

Yeah, he sure as  _ fuck  _ didn’t deserve all of this.

Beth was nodding off by the time the movie ended, the sandwiches were eaten and the pretzels were gone. She gave a little yawn.

“L-looks like bedtime,” said Rick, pulling his feet out from under Stan’s thighs. “Time to brush your teeth, sweetie.”

Beth pouted and gave her best puppy-dog eyes. “Aw, can’t we watch it again?”

“No, sweetheart. I-i-it’s after seven, you know what  _ that  _ means.”

Beth huffed and folded her arms. “Time to shut my trap an’ shut my eyes.”

“Th-that’s my girl. Go brush your teeth, and I-I’ll read you a bedtime story.”

Beth hopped off of the couch and dashed off to the bathroom.

“Hey, b-bozo.” Rick elbowed Stan in the ribs. “W-wake up.”

Stan snorted himself awake. “Wuzzat?” he said groggily, rubbing his eyes under his glasses.

“We gotta go tuck Beth in.” Rick stood and cricked his neck. “Ow.”

Stan yawned and slowly got to his feet. He examined his fingernails again. “Mm. She didn’t do a half bad job.”

Beth bounced back into the room wearing fuzzy pyjamas and holding a Dr. Seuss book. “I’m ready for storytime! Oh, Lee’s awake!”

“Heya, kiddo.” Stan popped his back. “Ah, let’s see those chompers.”

Beth bared her teeth at Stan. “Nng! See, clean!”

“Squeaky clean,” he said, holding his hand out for the book. Beth gave it to him and dashed back into her bedroom. “I’ll take care of the bedtime story.” Stan pressed a kiss to Rick’s cheek before following Beth into her room.

Rick paused, listening while Stan chuckled, then settled down to read “The Cat in the Hat”.

Rick picked up the blocks, dolls, and other toys that were around the living room. He had a habit of buying  _ way  _ too much stuff for Beth because they had to leave so much behind on such a regular basis. Beth only had three toys that she’d hung on to through the ten moves that they’ve made in her five years of life - a toy horse that she pretended to play doctor with, a stethoscope that Rick stole from a hospital, and a googly-eyed alien doll that Stan had won for her at Blips and Chitz.

Rick put the dishes in the washer, then he sat at the kitchen table and started to count out Flurbos. They weren’t going to last much longer, they’d have to pull another tricky stunt, soon.

Maybe they weren’t so domestic, after all.

Stan came into the kitchen just as Rick was putting the cash back into the safe. He crept up behind him, put his hands on his hips, and buried his face in his neck.

“Hey,” said Rick, spinning the lock on the safe.

“Hey.”

“Sh-she asleep?”

“Out like a light before we finished the book.”

Rick smiled. “Cute.”

“You seem tense. All good?”

“A-as good as I ever am.” Rick leaned back into Stan.

Stan wrapped his arms around him. “Wanna talk about it?”

“... N-not really…”

“... but?”

“B-but maybe I should. Y’know. G-get the stupid, dumb human feelings out there instead of drinking them away.” He sighed. “I-I… fuck, it’s dumb.”

Stan’s lips were on the base of his neck. “All feelings are dumb, but they’re still gonna mess with your head. Spit it out.”

“Fine, fine. I-I guess I’m just surprised that a guy like me ended up… like this.”

Stan stiffened. “Oh. Are we… tying you down?”

“W-what?” Rick pulled away and grabbed onto Stan’s hands. “No! I-I’m just… no, you’re not tying me down. I-I’ve never been so fucking happy.”

Stan looked confused. “Then…?”

“Th-that’s it, though,” said Rick, looking away. “I’m  _ happy. _ W-what the  _ fuck _ , am I right?”

Stan snorted and smiled. “I know. I never thought I’d see the day where  _ I’d  _ be this happy, either.”

“H-how’d I get so damn lucky?”

“Well, you met me.” Stan gave him a cocky grin. “From the moment I was kicked to the curb, I’ve been  _ brimming  _ with luck. I’m leaking it.”

“A-among other things.”

“Ha!” Stan pulled Rick into a tight hug. “We’re both so fucked up.”

“Eeyup.” Rick kissed the top of his head.

Stan’s hands didn’t stay. They began to wander, up to the middle of his back, and down to his ass.

Rick grinned. “F-feelin’ frisky, Lee?”

“Eeyup,” said Stan in a bad imitation of Rick. He kissed his neck.

Rick let himself be pushed up against the wall. Stan unfastened his belt and popped the button on his jeans.

“H-how do you wanna do this?” asked Rick, tangling his fingers in Stan’s hair. He was approaching mullet length again, and the only reason Rick liked it was because it gave him something to grab onto.

“Mm, I’m kinda tired. Wanna just get into bed and jerk each other off?”

“I-I could ride you or fuck your ass. O-or we could blow each other.”

“Blowjob. I had a burrito for lunch, so nothin’s goin’ up there.”

Rick snorted. “D-dumbass.”

Stan practically pulled him into the bedroom, shutting the lights off behind them as they went. Stan let himself be pushed onto the bed and straddled.

Rick kissed him and broke away long enough to mumble, “ _ F-fuck, Lee, y-you’re so hot! _ ” before pushing their lips together again.

Stan grabbed the hem of Rick’s shirt and pulled it over his head. He kissed down his neck and collar, then down to the scars on his chest.

Rick snorted. “Psh, you  _ sap. _ ”

Stan ran his tongue over his nipple. Rick let out a happy little moan and tangled his hand in Stan’s hair.

“I-I wanna blow you,” he murmured.

Stan pulled away with a huge grin. “I bet you do.”

Rick laughed as he hopped up onto the bed properly. Stan kicked off his pants and socks, and Rick tossed his boxers across the room. They landed on the lamp.

Rick pushed Stan down onto the pillows. He tweaked his nipples with his fingers and played with his chest hair. He slowly moved his mouth downwards, pressing his hands into his chubby tummy as he did so. Stan blushed as he grabbed his love handles.

“Can you not?” he asked, gently swatting Rick’s hands away.

“W-why?” Rick grinned up at him, his mouth brushing his stomach. “Y-you’re gorgeous.”

“Psh, whatever, Rick.” But he was blushing, and he was smiling.

Rick wrapped his lips around Stan’s dick. Stan fisted his hand in Rick’s hair and moaned loudly as he began to bob his head up and down, running his tongue along the bottom of his cock.

“ _ F-fuck, _ Rick!” gasped Stan. He squirmed and bit into the pillow to hold back his moans so he wouldn’t wake Beth in the next room. Oh, it was hard! A tiny part of him missed the days when it was just the two of them, when they could be as noisy as they wanted and didn’t have an extra mouth to feed.

He didn’t miss it much, though.

Rick moaned around Stan’s cock and dug his fingers into his thick thighs. Fuck, he smelled so good, tasted so good. His dick was  _ thick, _ made his jaw ache terrifically, felt so good inside him when they fucked. He was cut, and he liked tracing his tongue around the head in a delicate way that made Stan beg for more.

He laved his tongue over the head and Stan moaned weakly.

“P-please, Rick…”

Rick smiled slyly. He continued his tease, licking a path from the head to the base, the moving a little lower and sucking one of his balls into his mouth.

“ _ Mmf! _ ” Stan had bit the pillow again, christ that was hot. He would definitely make fun of him for it, later.

He dug his fingernail into the hole on the tip of his dick and Stan bucked his hips just a bit. He whimpered.

Rick trailed his tongue along the side of his dick before taking him fully into his mouth, all at once.

That was it, for Stan. He groaned and trembled as he came, fingers still in Rick’s messy black hair. His chest heaved with heavy breaths as he recovered, sweaty and panting and spent.

Rick wiped his mouth on his wrist. Stan pulled him up into a kiss.

Stan nipped his lip. “ _ Sit on my face. _ ”

Rick grinned. “W-with  _ pleasure. _ ” He crawled up and plucked Stan’s glasses from his nose, setting them on the side table. He straddled Stan’s face, one hand in his hair, the other holding onto the headboard.

Stan wrapped his arms around Rick’s thighs and set to work, burying his face between his legs. He ran his tongue over his folds in long strokes, kissed his inner thighs, and sucked his cock.

Rick white-knuckled the headboard. He leaned his forehead against it, sighing contentedly.

Fuck, he was lucky. He had a gorgeous guy between his legs, sucking him off. His  _ boyfriend.  _

Hm. Boyfriend.

Sounded nice, but… could be better.

Stan hummed against his dick. His fingers dug into his asscheeks, probably leaving bruises. Rick ground his hips down onto Stan’s face, humping against him. Sweat ran down his forehead and his legs trembled with tension.

Stan did that perfect  _ thing  _ that somehow involved sucking and swirling his tongue at the same time, and Rick tipped over the edge. He gasped out Stan’s name as he shuddered, his thighs clamped around Stan’s head as he rode out his orgasm.

Rick pulled away and flopped down onto the sheets.

Stan kissed his shoulder, then his neck, then his cheek. “Love you.”

“L-love you, too.” They didn’t say it often, but they usually said it in other ways. Mind blowing sex, for one. Cooking dinner, planning a surprise heist, and shoulder massages were also on the list.

“I hope we didn’t wake your daughter,” said Stan with a smile.

“ _ O-our  _ daughter, Lee.” Rick snuggled up to him. “Hey. I-I have a cool idea.”

“Really?” Stan wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “What is it?”

“I-I can think of a  _ super  _ easy way to commit tax fraud.”

Stan gave him a flat look. “Rick, we don’t pay taxes.”

Rick dragged a hand down his face. “Right, right. F-forgot.”

Stan raised an eyebrow. “You…  _ forgot? _ ”

“Y-yeah, that happens sometimes!” he snapped. “W-what I’m trying to say is… I’m tired of being your boyfriend.”

Stan’s heart damn near stopped, and the broken look on his face made Rick immediately take back his statement.

He shook his head. “No! N-not like that! Fuck!” He slapped two hands over his face. “I mean… it doesn’t have… i-it’s not… it doesn’t have the best  _ ring  _ to it.”

“... What?” Stan was absolutely baffled. He sat up in bed, arms folded. “Rick, what the hell’s going on?”

Rick grumbled to himself as he reached into the side table drawer. “Fuck, I-I  _ suck  _ at this romantic shit!”

Stan snorted. “You sure d-” He stopped when he caught the serious look in Rick’s eye. “What…?”

Rick was kneeling on the tangled covers. His face was red. He held something small in his hands. “Lee, b-babe. I love you. E-even though in the long scheme of things, science has proven that monogamy isn’t a practical way to procreate and it’s obvious that every single relationship either ends in heartbreak or death, and the only reason that anyone is even driven to a relationship is because of biological chemicals that force us to breed, coupled with the fact that humans are typically petrified by the idea of dying alone… d-despite all that, I-I wanna ask you something.” He swallowed hard, then held something out between his fingertips.

It was a ring.

“Y-you’re a traditional sorta guy,” said Rick with a shrug, not making eye contact. “A-and I figured you’d-”

“Just say it,” said Stan firmly.

Rick looked back at him and gave a weak smile. “Wanna get hitched?”

Stan answered with a passionate kiss. He slipped the ring on and admired the way it looked with his new nail polish.

“Ritzy,” he said with a smirk. “Of course I’ll marry you, you asshole.” He kissed him again.

Rick let out a relieved breath and slumped against him as they curled up to sleep. “I-I  _ suck  _ at romance.”

“Eh, you’re okay.” Stan kissed his forehead.

Rick wrapped an arm around him. “W-when do you wanna do it?”

“Tomorrow?”

Rick grinned. “Sure, I-I got nothin’ planned.”

“Beth is gonna be the  _ cutest  _ flower girl.”

“Oh, d-definitely.”

Maybe being domestic isn’t so bad, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my peace offering! Have a lovely day, and to all my fellow Canadians, happy Thanksgiving!
> 
> check out my tumblr >>> runaway-toons


End file.
